1st Febuary 2011

I am feeling a little lost, I have no idea what I am going to do with this project now. I haven’t even been able to bring myself to look at the footage we took or the questionnaires...not even a peek. I really need to face up to this as it’s not going away, I just feel like I have messed up and I don’t really know how to fix it. I have done all of the work I set out to do practically and this next phase was going to be me getting my nose back in the books and analyzing the data, but I just don’t feel fulfilled enough...

So I went to the group forum and talked this through with Lee (Miller my lecturer), he reassured me that if I wanted to stop now then that was fine as I had done enough work (I had been working on this all over the summer and Christmas after all) but if I wanted to do more that was fine too. This made me feel a bit calmer.

Then strait after I had a meeting with Ruth (Way) and she said the same. I explained that this project feels like it has a life of its own and as much as I would love an easy life and to just stop now and collate my data into a presentation and show some of the edited film...that just didn't feel right anymore and I felt artistically unsatisfied with what I did. 

So basically what I need to do is to make a lecture demonstration to show what  have learnt but taking the Mickey out of myself a bit at the same time, almost creating different characters and personalities for myself and performing my process and research. This is not going to be an easy task, it’s a challenge one I’m not sure I will meet but I’m going to have a dam good go!

So next step is to write up reflections of the whole process, being critical and reflective but also personal and emotional and do the whole dear diary think as this will help me identify my journey and my characters. Then I need to write a script for my presentation inserting everything I have learned from it. Then I need to somehow create some alter egos and mix it all together into a 20 min performance/ presentation....and I also need to edit all of the film together and analyse the data.

Next steps...well I have done the dear diary and I have input all of the data from the questionnaires into a spreadsheet and Jon has done some formulas to analyze it. So I have a meeting with him tomorrow to go through all of this.  Then I will be meeting with my other supervisor Ruth Way to show her my diary and start to talk through some creative ideas, I also need to edit all of the film (and learn how to use final cut pro L) and then I need to do what I do best and get into the studio and start working practically!